SONGS OF THE OXFORD HILLS

by John Governale

AGNES GRAY Agnes Gray loves me, She says that I'm good news. Agnes Gray loves me, She says that I'm good news. That's why I never have the West Paris Elementary Blues. She smiles when she sees me Even though I'm wearing worn out shoes. She smiles when she sees me Even though I'm wearing worn out shoes. She never makes me have the West Paris Elementary. Some places I've been It's considered a sin Just to walk in the door. But since the day I found Agnes Gray I don't feel that way any more. Agnes Gray loves me, She says that I'm good news. Agnes Gray loves me, She says that I'm good news<.br> That's why I never have the West Paris Elementary Blues. ARTEMUS WARD Artemus Ward, You are loved and adored On both sides of the sea. Abraham Lincoln And folks in England Think you're funny as you can be. You have a way With the things you say To turn life into hilarity. So when people flock And you give your talk, Please don't talk about me. Artemus Ward, You've got a verbal sword That you swing most easily. There's no debating When you're orating You're as deadly as you can be. When you vent In your funny accent You're the king of comedy. So when you talk And tease and mock, Please don't talk about me. Don't talk about the way I stand Or the color of my hair. Or how when I hear a band I turn and stare. Don't tell the laughing crowd How a rainbow makes me sigh, Or anyother thing about me That may have caught your eye. Artemus Ward, You are loved and adored From sea to shining sea. The Yanks and the British, Even the Yiddish, Think you're funny as you can be. You have a way With the things you say To turn life into hilarity. So when people flock And you give your talk, Please don't talk about me. (Musical Break) Don't talk about the way I stand Or the color of my hair. Or how when I hear a band I turn and stare. Don't tell the laughing crowd How a rainbow makes me sigh, Or anyother thing about me That may have caught your eye. Artemus Ward, You are loved and adored On both sides of the sea. Abraham Lincoln And folks in England Think you're funny as you can be. You have a way With the things you say To turn life into hilarity. So when people flock To hear you talk, Please don't talk about me. I would rather endure That famous Water Cure Than to have you talk about me. Coming Home to Hebron I can tell what she's doing From the way she has folded The Daily News. She's considering clues. And I really want to ask If she has figured out the answer To Seven Down, But we're approaching town. And she puts away her pen, And she gathers up her things, And the bus comes to a stop On ancient springs. And she steps out on the platform, Then stops and glances back As we pull away, As if to say, "Seven Down would have been no match for us." "Seven Down would have been no match for us." (Musical break) And she steps out on the platform, Then stops and glances back As we pull away, As if to say, "Seven Down would have been no match for us." (Repeat and fade) Opera House The clock up in the tower Keeps time for the town below, Hear it counting down the hour To a long forgotten show. Oxford Fair I first met Mary at the Oxford fair. She was wearing blue jeans, a ribbon in her hair. She was taking part in the frying pan toss. When she threw that thing it came across The fence to where I happened to be And made a big impression in me. Chorus: It made a big impression on me. Knocked me right off my feet. It seems to me there ought to be An easier way for two people to meet. The announcer called for an ambulance. I was seeing stars like in a trance. Mary came over and she held my hand, While we waited for the ambulance man. She said I was brave as brave can be Which made a big impression on me. (Chorus) Soon Mare and I were happily wed. Next year at the Oxford Fair she said, "A frying pan's got a lot of heft. Three feet back and to the left Is the safest place for you to be." That made a big impression on me. (Chorus) (Musical Break) Soon Mare and I were happily wed Next year at the Oxford Fair she said, "A frying pan's got a lot of heft. Three feet back and to the left Is the safest place for you to be." That made a big impression on me. PARIS HILL My girl lives on Paris Hill, Her dad's rolling in money. I try to make him laugh, He doesn't think I'm funny. He doesn't think I'm the kind of boy Who ought to date his pride and joy. He doesn't know how right it could be For her to share a love with me. I don't care about his gold, He needn't be so wary. I can make his daughter laugh; She's the one I'll marry He doesn't think I'm the kind of boy Who ought to be dating his pride and joy. He doesn't know how right it could be For her to share a love with me. I can make his daughter laugh; She's the one I'll marry. I love to hear his daughter laugh; She's the one I'll marry. WOODEN HOUSES Monopoly used to have wooden houses Monopoly used to have wooden houses Monopoly used to have wooden houses That were made in my home town. YARD SALE A painting by Vivian Akers Of any kind Would be a joyous find. Or for that matter A seventy-eight rpm Recording of the opera star Madame Scallar. All songs copyrighted 2005 by John Governale